Moving On

My Dad and I at Green Gables National Park.

Have you ever visited a destination so marvelous that you simply desired to stay there forever?  Perhaps it was a sunshiny sandy beach or a majestic mountain vista.  You know, the kind of place that tugs at your heartstrings and seems almost like a dream.  From a Swiss chalet at the foot of the Matterhorn to a quaint bed and breakfast in my ancestral home of Inveraray, Scotland, I often find myself wanting to stay in such a gorgeous place just a little longer.  This summer, I had the opportunity to visit Prince Edward Island.  As someone with a Master of Science degree in English, seeing all of the Lucy Maud Montgomery sites was somewhat overwhelming.  The idyllic scenery on the island drew me in like a bee to honey.  I must admit that I have visited several locations that were so dear to me that I became misty eyed when it came time for us to leave, and this was one of those times for sure.  While there are many different places that cause me to leave a little piece of my heart behind each time I have to leave, I know that I cannot stay in one place indefinitely.  Eventually, it is time to move on.

Jesus’ disciples even found that they often had to move on when they were traveling with Jesus.  One day they went up on the mountaintop to pray with Jesus.  Peter said, “‘Lord, it is good for us to be here.  If you wish, I will put up three shelters—one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah’” (Matthew 17:4 NIV).  The location was so glorious and the experience was so profound that Peter wanted to build homes and begin living on that mountaintop.  Of course, Jesus knew that He could not stay on the mountain forever.  He knew that He would have to walk through the darkest valley of His life.  He knew that all too soon He would be hung on a cross to die.  Surely He would rather have stayed on that mountain, secluded from the rest of the world.  Yet He knew that He had to move on in order to obey His Father’s will.

As Christians, we often get comfortable at certain points in our lives.  We find a job that suits us well, locate a church that makes us feel welcome, or discover a vacation destination that we enjoy so much that we’re ready to move in, much like Peter was willing to place roots down on top of the mountain.  While all of these are blessings along the way, we must remember that our purpose is to follow God’s plan for our life.  Sometimes this means we must leave that “comfort zone,” whatever it may be, and press on to something different that lies ahead, whether it is a negative change or a positive one.  Either way, we can rest assured that every valley we cross and mountain we summit along the way is a step in the right direction.

Paul wrote, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14 NIV).  As Christians, we should have the same goal in mind.  To forget the past with all of its disappointments and failures and push on toward the abundant life that awaits us.  Jesus Christ knows every joy and every difficulty that we may encounter on life’s road.  He knows every opportunity we may miss and every door we may walk through.  No matter what we face during our journey on this earth, Jesus Christ gives us the assurance that better things await us.  So don’t look back.  Look ahead.  Seek the Lord’s will for your life.  Keep moving on.  Cherish each moment of your life with the knowledge that every step you take will bring you one step closer to Jesus Christ.

In Christ’s Love,

Jennifer

Looking Back; Moving Forward

As I look back at the last two and a half years, I realize just how far I have come.  The loss of my Mom was nearly more than I could bear.  I often wondered how I would get through the motions of each and every day.  While I had the desire to live life, I had absolutely no desire to sincerely enjoy life.  Since that time, I have found that I can enjoy life, even with the absence of my Mom.  My Dad and I enjoy many amazing experiences together, but through it all, there is always something missing from our daily life.  There are times when joyful times still have a bittersweet shadow lurking overhead, simply because my Mom is not there to share it with us.  Still, I want to remember the sweet memories I have of my Mom, with the assurance that I will see her again.  I suppose you could say the old adage, “Two steps forward, one step back,” is an accurate description of my journey to joy.  Some days are incredibly difficult, while others provide hope, strength, and happiness.  Even though I may be looking back, I am also moving forward.

During the times that I struggle to see the hope Jesus gives so freely, I am reminded of other moments when His hope was ever present, even amid difficulties I was facing.  While my Sweet Sixteenth year on this earth began with an All-Day Singing and Dinner on the Grounds, it ended in a much different realm.  My Mom was in the hospital at the time.  I walked into my closet to change clothes, so my Dad and I could go visit her that evening.  All of the sudden, I felt as if I had been stabbed in the side.  It was the most excruciating pain I had ever felt in my life.  I immediately told my Dad, who quickly ushered me out the door.  We went directly to the hospital emergency room.  I was evaluated, and it was determined that my colon had perforated and my heart rate was dangerously high.  The situation was extremely critical.

As they were preparing me for emergency surgery, my Dad was able to get permission to bring my Mom down to see me before I went into the operating room.  My Mom and Dad later told me that they wanted to see me one last time, in case I didn’t make it.  While I knew the situation was severe, I had complete assurance that Jesus would be in the operating room, guiding the surgeons’ hands.  Although I knew that peritonitis and all of the medical terms being spouted off by the nurses and doctors added up to a serious situation, I did not worry one bit.  I even recall telling my Mom and Dad that everything would be alright, and that Jesus would take care of me.  Even in the midst of what looked like a dire circumstance, I had complete faith that He would see me through.  I knew without a doubt that He would heal my body and restore my health.

I came through the surgery with a few complications, stayed in the Intensive Care Unit, and finally was able to come home several weeks later.  During the time I was in the hospital, my Mom was discharged from the hospital, so my Mom and Dad stayed by my side every day and night, except for the days when my Dad had to be at work.  I know it was a very difficult and trying time for them, worrying about their little girl.  Still, I know that my faith never wavered even once.  I knew that God would keep His promise.  In God’s Word, we read, “By His stripes, we are healed.”  I claimed this promise and I knew that I would prevail.  What I do not understand now is, how could I have had such a strength and faith at the young age of sixteen?  What was so different then?  While I have strength and faith now, there are times when I look back on August 2, 2008, and I wonder, why didn’t God intervene?

For me, I guess it was easier to believe that God would heal me and keep the faith, especially after He did heal me.  Now, I am left wondering why He did not answer my prayer for my Mom to stay with us.  Although I know He has my best interest at heart, I do not understand how the absence of my Mom is in my best interest.  Looking back, I can see God’s hand working in my life from the very moment I was born lifeless.  I realize the trials I had experienced up until this point were meant to make me stronger, to help me understand the will of God for my life, and to strengthen my relationship with Jesus.  What I have yet to figure out, as I strive to move forward, is how the loss of my Mom is meant to help.  Each step I take into the future, I have yet to determine how God will work this tragic loss for my good.

Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for good, to those who love God, and are called according to His purpose.”  Perhaps I was born lifeless and then had the emergency surgery when I was sixteen to reveal to others Jesus’ healing power.  Quite possibly, some of the things that I have experienced throughout my life have been to show others the way I smile and shine forth the joy of Jesus, even in the most difficult of times.  But, what I have not figured out is how God will work this most recent trial for my good.  This loss has been devastating.  While I am not proud of this fact, I have not remained smiling and joyful 24/7 since my Mom went to be with the Lord.  And there was no healing about which to testify.  So, what is His purpose?  I don’t have all the answers, but I know that Jesus is the answer for every single question.

Inevitably, there are times in our lives when we will not know God’s purpose.  In reality, we may never know the purpose for some of the things that happen in our lives.  Even so, we must cling to the hope that we have in Jesus Christ.  As I look back on the way He has been so faithful to me, bringing me out of the toughest valleys and most raging rivers, I know that He will remain faithful.  Although it is difficult to move forward, I will press on.  I know that something better awaits.  It is my prayer that God will help me continue to live my life in service to Him.  And I pray that I can minister to someone’s heart through the message I bring.  That message is to tell you that even when life changes, there is joy around the bend.  I cannot explain the past, or the present.  But whether I am looking back or moving forward, I know the future is bright.  Because one day, we’ll be looking back at earth and moving forward to a Heavenly home.

In Christ’s Love,
Jennifer

Anticipation

From the moment I awoke this morning, I have literally been counting the hours and minutes until I make the 84-mile journey to the Leon County Civic Center in Tallahassee, Florida.  For several months, I have been anticipating this very night.  Several weeks ago, our tickets came in the mail.  Every time I have seen them on my desk, I have pondered, with great anticipation, what tonight would be like.  And now, the time has finally arrived.  Tonight, along with my Dad, I will have the opportunity to hear Dr. David Jeremiah speak.  It is hard to imagine that all of those months of waiting have quickly gone by, and now, April 14, 2011, is here.
 
Isn’t it funny, though, how we can eagerly anticipate such an event so much?  We look forward to it for days, weeks, months, or maybe even years.  At first, it seems so far away.  In fact, there are times when it seems like the days just drag on and on and on.  And then, seemingly out of nowhere, it comes upon us like a whirlwind.  Once the highly anticipated date arrives, the event comes and goes so fast that it is easy to have it breeze on by without truly relishing in the moment.  Sometimes, it seems as if we did not even really experience it at all.  As Christians, Jesus wants us to enjoy our lives.  We need to ensure that all of our experiences are valuable, cherished, and enjoyed.  We need to savor every moment we have here on earth.  And when we anticipate an event, we need to be prepared, just in case everything does not go according to plan.


While many things that we anticipate will happen according to our plans and will generate long-lasting memories, some of the things we greatly anticipate will not go as planned.  And in reality, they may not even happen at all.  Often, this can lead to great disappointment.  I can recall a time when I looked forward to attending Livestock Judging Practice, one of my favorite activities when I was involved in the local 4-H program.  I greatly anticipated this event, but I never once thought that I would miss the practice and that the day would end as it did.  As a young teenager, I had taken my bike up the driveway to get the mail, just as I had done many times before.  This time, however, my tires were not rolling on solid ground and after hitting an uneven patch of grass, my bike quickly crashed to the right with me in tow.  To complicate matters, I was thrown directly into the barbed wire fence.
 
I got up, got back on the bike, and rode straight for the shed.  Yes, you read that correctly, the shed, not the house.  I could tell me neck was bleeding from where the wire had punctured my skin.  So, my “bright idea” was to go to the shed, wash it up, and then be able to go to judging practice.  Talk about dedication, right?  I knew that I couldn’t go to the house to wash the wound, as that could result in my Mom suggesting I stay home.  So, after I did what I could do in the shed, I entered the house.  My Mom saw the wound and her face had a look of horror.  I thought, how bad could it be?
 
In reality, I had a fairly large gash in my neck, right near my juggler vein.  If the wire had punctured my neck in a slightly different place, this could have been a life-threatening accident.  And to think, I was just going to “wash it up” and go on to judging practice.  I mean, I had anticipated this event and I did not want anything to get in the way.  Instead, I found myself going to our family physician, receiving stitches, a tetanus booster, and antibiotics to prevent infection.  This was surely a change of plans, nothing like the afternoon I had highly anticipated.
 
Even though my plans changed, God knew best.  Perhaps a trip to livestock judging practice would have resulted in my Mom and I being involved in a fatal car accident.  Or maybe I would have experienced a permanent injury, much worse than the one I received from the bike accident.  Even though our human minds may anticipate an event, and we may do everything we can to prevent something else from interfering in our plans, there are moments when God says, “Not now.”  We often have grandiose ideas, and sometimes, these are wonderful experiences.  Other times, our ideas are simply unsafe or ill-advised.  And of course, God may have something even better in store, if we will simply lay aside our own expectations and learn to expect great things from the One who sits on the throne in Heaven above.



If you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, there is one event that you can look forward to with great anticipation.  It is an event like no other ever seen.  And it is one that will not be interrupted or cancelled, if you make a commitment to be a friend of God.  God’s Word shares this awesome promise in Titus 2:13-14 (NIV): “while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”  If you want to have something to really look forward to, call on Him today.  He wants you to be a part of this great celebration that all Christians highly anticipate.  Seek God’s face and be delighted at the amazing opportunities He gives you to look forward to on earth, all the while seeking and anticipating the arrival of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  Now, that glorious day is certainly worthy of great anticipation!

In Christ’s Love,
Jennifer