Have you ever had "one of those days?" You know the kind I'm talking about...when everything seems to go wrong, your head is about to explode, and hopelessness surrounds you? There are moments in our lives when it seems that life as we know it is over. In August 2008, I had one of those moments.
My Mom, Dad, and I were vacationing in the Great Smoky Mountains in Western North Carolina. We were enjoying our first summer in our new fifth wheel camper. Life seemed perfect. Then, life changed forever.
One evening, we were sitting in the living room watching a DVD episode of The Waltons. In a split second, my Mom sat up, stared straight ahead, and despite my pleas for her to stay with us, my Mom went home to be with the Lord. We did not have a chance to say goodbye. There was no warning. Life just changed.
Since then, I have continuously questioned, "what if?" What if the paramedics had arrived on the scene more quickly? What if I had dialed 911 a millisecond faster? What if…
My Dad and I called out to the Lord, pleading for Him to spare her life. I needed my Mama to be with me. Didn’t God understand this? I knew that God was a miracle working God. I had seen evidence of this through my own journey into this world, even to the point of God raising me from the dead, and I had seen His hand working in our lives countless times again when my Mom, Dad, or I endured an illness or accident. Why wasn’t He working now?
There came a time in my journey that I no longer held on to the heartache. Sure, I still miss my Mom even today. I’ll be honest. Some days are incredibly difficult. But, the real difference came when I stopped dwelling on the past. Specifically, a change came when I stopping reliving the night my Mom went to be with the Lord. This night had haunted me for nearly two years. After much prayer and searching the pages of God’s Word, I finally realized that I no longer had to bear the burden of the “what-ifs.” You see, the “what-ifs” don’t really matter. I could question God for the remainder of my life with questions of “what ifs,” but it would not matter. Why? Because God is a Sovereign God.
If you have ever, even for one split second, questioned whether or not God heard your cry for help, rest assured that He heard you. There is never a time in your life when He does not listen to everything you say. He is always watching over you, guiding and protecting you. God has a perfect dream for your life. He knows when you will cry tears of sadness and when you will cry tears of joy. Regardless of your current situation, God is in control. He knows, He cares, and He is there for you, in the sunshine and the rain.
As human beings living in a troubled world, we will experiences changes in life. There will be times when we don’t know what to do. There will be mountains we have to cross that seem too high, rivers that seem too wide, and deserts that seem too dry. Sometimes, God leads us through trials in order to bring us to victories. We may not understand His guiding hand at the time, but as the beloved song tells us, we will understand it better by and by.
Even in the darkest, most difficult times of our existence, nothing is impossible with God. Sure, the EMTs said that it was too late. They said my Mom had suffered a heart attack, and there was nothing they could do. Still, I waited silently, at first, assured in my heart and soul that God was going to perform a miracle. I knew He would not let me down. I knew He would intervene.
Jesus said, “What is impossible with man is possible with God” (Luke 18:27). I believe God’s word with my whole heart, and I clung to the words of this verse, knowing that it was not too late. What the EMTs could not do was entirely possibly with God! I knew that a miracle was possible. Yet, time passed by, a blur of men and women in uniform, fellow campers offering their condolences, my Dad and I finding ourselves in the lowest valley we had ever walked through. God could have intervened, yet He chose not to. Do I understand His purpose? No, I don’t always understand God’s decisions. Still, I know He is working for my good.
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Notice the scripture doesn’t say that all things work together the way we choose. Instead, it says, “in all things God works.” God works in our lives the way He chooses. He sees the big picture. He’s not just looking at the next ten, twenty, or even fifty years. He is looking at your entire life, from the very beginnings in your mother’s womb to the moment you enter into eternity in either Heaven or Hell. No matter what happens in your life, remember this: life is tough, but God is faithful.
If you feel hopeless, remember that God is the giver of hope. If you are tired of change, rest assured that God will never change. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. God will always love you. He wants you to experience a life of joy and happiness. If you love God, He will work for your good. He will give you hope. He will restore your faith. He will reveal to you the life you always dreamed of living.
In Christ's Love,Jennifer